Hello world.

I have not written anything in a long long time in this blog.

But tonight. Someone said something that ripped my heart out.

I had to write it. and it maybe the last time that i will mention it. You were all right. I should have listened. but i persisted, i thought he was different than what you all had laid out before me.

i was at his door for for two hours..begging and crying my soul out for him to talk to me. He shut me out for something that i didn't even do on freewill. After all the time that i believed in what he has to say over things that i heard and even see with my own eyes.

He couldn't even do the same for me.

I thought he cared. I believed he did. I guess i was wrong.

I wish you well. I still do. I have made the mistake of thinking that i have fallen for the person that i see and felt that you are. I hope you find someone who will love you as much as i did. Who was willing to stick with what you have to say more than anyone else. Who was mad enough to put you up there thinking that you deserve it. You deserve to be loved. I deserved to be loved.

I hate this.

I'm suppose to work this shit out like a motherfucker since this is the main reason why I'm practically homeless but I've been skipping days and days till i forget the stuff that I'm suppose to write about. It's not working well. I need proper motivation and i have to make time for this and get things straight once and for all.

I'm moving on to 2nd month. But before i decided to to this again i went home and took things into consideration.

At Sundar Bikram Yoga Studio, I met Sherie Dyer. If you can make "awesome" an actual person it's Sherie Dyer, and everyone i'm sure will agree to that. Now this tangible-awesome-being has a friend named Rico Robles who talked to me about this semi social experiment while we were driving to Fama from serendra one night.

He said that in order for me to properly conduct this social experiment, instead of doing this for one night, i should try doing for five days in one person's house. The thing about that is that during the first day they will be accommodating and hospitable. They will be in their typical Filipino mode but, as the days move on, they will start feeling your presence and that's when the true colors would come fluttering.

I was thinking, these people might start either loving me or hating me but putting that into perspective, he did make sense. With that into consideration i would have to do this thing properly. And with the word properly, i mean planning...Really Planning.

So we'll see.

I went home last weekend to my parents. This was due to my mom telling me that after reading the last entry, my dad couldn't shut his eyes that night. He kept telling my mother to call me and ask me to come home already.

When i saw him, i hugged him and miraculously, he hugged me back. It was awesome and wonderful and it felt like home. I heard mass with them on Sunday. I prayed hard that day because after all that misadventures, I'm still alive and still in one piece.

For the people who supported my pathetic excuse to be homeless,

.....thank you. I will continue blogging you.

Hello world, as i was walking around Greenhills this morning it dawned on to me that i have not been home for one month. The whole experience was a very trippy ride for me and i dont think this post can even describe it.

I cried
i laughed,
got hungry,
didn't eat,
ate a lot,
dined at restaurants for free,
got kicked out,
felt safe,
slept on floors,
slept on couches,
didnt take a bath
made lots of music
got drunk
drowned in music and coffee
got weirded out,
discovered new friends
new ideas,
met new people
met friends that became a family
felt love
got my heart broken
and learned that sometimes evil people are the perfect beings

As i have said, the only amount of money i had was the money to get me to the first house. Everyday was exciting and scary at the same time. I did not know if i will eat or where i would sleep, if i will get mugged or molested or even raped. I did not get mugged or rape though but i got hungry as hell and i got exhausted physically mentally and emotionally by this self induced adventure.

I developed friendships that i hope will last me a lifetime. Most of them were unexpected ones. There were even people whom i didn't think i'd go well with but they turned out to be people that may seemed fucked but they are the best teachers you can get in this roller coaster that we all live in.

The ideals that i brought with me when i left the house is still with me and very much intact but i must say that that my ideals and how i view this world evolved in just a month.

I miss my family. Everyday i look forward to seeing home especially during the times that i'd get scared hungry or depressed. I feel happy that even though i don't see them, i have this idea of an actual home and that i know that at the back of my head there will always be someone i can go home to. Not alot of homeless people have that picture at the back of their head that sometimes sheds light to dark alleys that they go through.

Even though i'm still far from their embrace, i bring their picture everyday with me as a fuel to nights and days that i starve, feel lonely or cry. Never leave home without bringing a good memory of the home that you will leave behind.

I would like to thank everyone whom i have encountered in this adventure. Good or bad they created me, they made me better and it strengthened my beliefs more. I may still need to mend a lot of my broken parts but i'm in a better place. The road is clear and there's still more to come. Good or Bad, i'm looking forward to it.

I still not untying my shoelaces. I will continue walking.

The Who: Al Galang is a yoga instructor that owns the greenhills bikram studio. I met him at a dinner for Adam Pearlstein last Friday and we didn't even talk that much. All he said was, "How long have you been practicing?" and "Come and visit my studio in greenhills (bikram yoga studio). I'm always there"

I found him on Betty's facebook the next day and i decided to add him. After a brief moment my yahoo said, Al confirmed you as a friend. So apparently he was online and i was in a chatty mode. So i chatted away in using the unreliable chatting medium called facebook. He seemed like a nice guy and he was genuine about inviting me to try his studio. He also told me that he loves his studio so much that he apparently lives at his studio (hehe...but he actually does live in his studio), not sure if he said that he's planning to move out soon or it's a permanent stay. After a lil chatty chat, in which i told him that i was doing this blog project, he said i can crash there anytime. So i'm like "awesome!" i said i'll come on sunday to try his studio and sleep over there as well.


I always wondered about the greenhills studio. Mainly because i heard stories from the studio that i was a regular at about the silent a thingy between the the studio in which i was a regular and the studio he owns. So it was kinda a bit exciting for me to see what goes on at the other side.

When i got there at 930am to practice my eyes was just on it's oh-cool-it's-another-dimension-mode. his studio was completely different from what i was used to and for some odd reason the vibe there was also different. At first i wasnt sure what it was but i'm pretty sure it was a good vibe.

I saw familiar yogi faces like Ginger and Betty whom i've known for quite sometime and then Al. It was my first time there but people were all smiley like they probably thought i was a regular or something. but it was all good, i was loving it.

When i stepped inside the studio, they were not in quiet-we're meditating-mode they were talking at the studio and they were really "talking" with all the right pitches and shit (Yes i'm talking like it is a mother fucking sin to talk at the studio before class). Actually no one was really hanging out at the lobby, everyone was at the freakin studio and chatting like there was no tom! I felt like what most people felt the first time that they encounter a drastic change; I hated it. I was like "Man, how can we do the meditating shit if all these noises are in your face!" but still i kept my mind open. I even tried dropping any form of expectations from this new place. Which of course didn't happen instantly but i tried.

But with the pissed-off-oh-it's-okay-it's-different mindset i had it was actually good for the whole experience because i made sure it entered me with a clean slate and after that every scenario was worth my 150 taxi ride. The yogis who are mostly in class that day made fun of each other while one of them was teaching, some of them even involved making fun of the students who were regulars already, and that was completely different from what i was used to. There was no air of hey-i'm-greater-than-you or whatsoever it wasn't even like people there were friends...they were like a family. The yogis are the parents who managed to have a good relationship with their teenage kids whom are their students. I was in complete awe. I think i was smitten completely, i think i fell in love with the studio.

After the class, i was still wide eyed like i was still hungry to feed my curiosity from this new place that i think i fell in love with. After much eye swarming and a good bath i got hungry. Betty, Ginger, and Al decided it was time for thai food.


We went to Som's at "Backwell" (Backwell because it was at the back of Rockwell) and ordered a couple of thai foods there. One information that you guys should know about: Betty is a Thai local who teaches in Greenhills and since she's local the food that she will order will definitely be...(yes you guessed right.) SPICY! and a very unforgiving type of spiciness, i'm sure will be served on the table.

It was my first time hanging out with them, so i was very much shy to even bring up that i don't eat spicy food because, 1. i get a motherfucking migraine and; 2. I get a motherfucking migraine (i think i stressed that out very well). But i was hungry, so the survival mode kicked in. Before the waitress left, on a shy pitch i told them, "Uh...is it too spicy? i don't eat too much spicy foods eh.". Everyone was nice about it though, they were able to get one dish that was not spicy at all; the green curry chicken.





Moving on to the Overnight thing...

The Room: The room is probably as big as my basement and it served as the Big Boss' office and his home sweet home. When you open the door you'll immediately see two bean bags on the right side, a single bed mat at the floor, and the office table at the far left corner.

On the left side right before the office table is the t.v. and at the back is a yamaha drumset.

I loved the fact that his bed is at the floor.



The Food: Som's awesome thai food that is ridiculously cheap!

The Famous Lines: "I'm always here. I have to be here. The studio has this vibe and character because of how i treat it."

"We treat each other like family. Sometimes we'd sit around for three hours doing our own thing without talking and we'd still be comfortable with the silence."

(Shet... i don't think i can recall any senseless line from this dude. although he can be extremely retarded. Which for me is not a bad thing. Being crazy for me is the closest to being perfect)

Other Interesting Bits: What fascinates me also about this guy is how comfortable he is about his manhood. He'd walk around the studio with just a towel on and sometimes sit on chairs with his balls peeking out and he knows this but he doesn't care. It's like saying, Yes my balls are peeking out but you know i have balls anyways. One day anne...one day i will be able to show the world my hairy balls.

I have known him for 3 days and who he is as to what i have seen is been nothing but magic that still manages to unfold every minute you hear him talk and laugh with the people that surrounds him

This guy has an aura of a 40 year old guy, he speaks like a 60 year old dude, yet he has a heart of a 6 year old. He's just 25. I hope he lives longer to be the way he is now a be a light to this old dark and cold world. We need more people like him. Thank God, he still created a being like him.

Who wouldn't believe in fairies, angels, magic, and miracles when something wonderful such as Al is staring at your face and telling you to lock your god-damned-mother-fucking-knee.

I'm not going to write about anything about the last damned week except my stay at Al Galang and Kenneth Keng's place. I dare not say that ignorance is bliss cause at this point knowing the truth is.

So much wiping has to be done for these series of events.

For now, a bottle of wine will be nice.

It was Gege, the master pekpek's (pekpek =vagina) birthday, if there was someone who will be the equivalent of all our perverseness in chardonnay it's master Gege our guitarist.

It was a rather special day and the overnight got split into two. We celebrated Gege's birthday at his place in Novaliches till 6am and then I slept again at Mama Fei's dorm for one hour.

The Who: Gerard is Chardonnay's guitarist. Just like Mama Fei, I meet him 3 weeks ago at mini stop. It was our first meeting but that didnt stop him from making a joke about what i was wearing. We were going to get 1 or 2 at sarah's in u.p. "1 or 2" means 1 or two beers. Sarah's was a very laid back place. actually it's a must that you should only be wearing rugged or you-almost-looked-like-you-got-mugged clothes. That day i was wearing a dress with a thick brown belt and my gladiator sandals.

"Over dressed ba ako?" (Am i over dressed?)

"Hindi naman. Isipin mo na lang asa Greenbelt ka!" (Uhh no...not really (sarcastically) just imagine that you're at Greenbelt)

And it went on for the rest of the night. That night 3 weeks ago, we all clicked and the next thing we knew was that we were making a song. We adjourned at 2:30am.

The Room: Well I didnt really sleep at his place. but we all celebrated his birthday at Gege's rooftop in Novaliches till 6 in the morning.

The Food: Afritada, Rice and Chicken Barbecue, Rum and Coke (Oh YEAH!)

The Famous Lines:

"Yun Oh!"

"Bastusan lang!"

"Sex lang no offense" ---This came from him

Other interesting bits: (to be continued)

I have never tried staying at a dorm before. My sisters and my brother studied in u.p. Los Banos that's why they were able to experience dorm life. As for me among all my siblings I'm the only one who studied in Diliman which meant that i had no excuse to stay at a dorm because our former home at camp aguinaldo was just 15 mins away from u.p.

The Who: Fei is Cyd's "baba" (their terms of endearment; Cyd is Chardonnay's bassist), I met her 3 weeks ago at maginhawa ministop and we've been having a blast with kopi roti, music and pervy times

The Food: I was served red big hotdogs, rice and chicken afritada


The Famous Line/s: Okay i have to deviate from the usual. We'd normally hang out as a group, Fei the mama of chardonnay and the pervy gentlemen of Chardonnay. So the lines that i will post here have been made collectively.

"It's a fine evening is it not? Fancy a fuck?"

"Excuse me... can i come in your mouth?"

"Sex lang no offense"

"Practice makes pekpek"

---this is practically how fucking smart we all get.

The Room: Mama Fei offered me two options. Either i stay at the upper deck of the double deck bed or sleep right next to her on her single type bed. I choose the latter of course nothing beats physical comfort. hehehe.

The room was practically shared by two people. Mama Fei was supposed to stay on the upper deck but she refused cause she wanted proper cool air circulating when she sleeps. (remember: cool air goes down)

Other interesting bits: I may have met her for only a few weeks but the bond i shared with her and the chardonnay family has been magical. It's cliche but it felt like i had known them for like forever. I have never kept any secrets from them and i felt comfortable with who i am around them. it was like shedding clothes (yes i like that phrase cause i'm perverted) and laughing out loud nakedly with them.

I had always been on constant search of people who will stick by, if possible, forever and this bunch i hope will stick next to my sweaty skin for the rest of our pervy and musical lives.

Mama Fei, thanks for filling up that bed space in my swollen heart. You and the pervy boys have been very entertaining and addicting.